"Jealousy tends to be caused by one of two things," says Brandy Engler, PsyD, a clinical psychologist at Silver Lake Psychology. "It could be you're afraid of losing someone, which could point to some abandonment issues you need to work through. But usually, it's ego-related. There's this assumption that if your partner loves you and is happy with you, then they'd never notice other men or women," she says. "That is, of course, unrealistic. The world is full of attractive and interesting people that you yourself have likely noticed, too. So it's natural your partner will."
"As people get older, they usually realize that there are amazing people in the world, and that doesn't take away from who they are," Engler says. "Over time, you learn to be less threatened by focusing on what's unique about your connection with your partner and why that's special, because that's why you're together. You're not together because you yourself are unique and special."
Feeling Jealous? Here's What It Might Mean, Refinery29 Media
Dr. Engler's Articles on the Huffington Post:
Should You Get Pre-marital Counseling?
Women's Health Magazine interviews Dr. Engler on the factors to consider.
Why Moving in Together Kills Your Sex Life, and What to Do About It.
Men's Health Magazine interviews Dr. Engler about how to improve your sex life, and reviews her book, "The Men on My Couch."
11 Things That Actually Surprised This Sex Therapist.
BuzzFeed reviews Dr. Engler's new book, "The Women on My Couch."